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Hasbro Rolls Out General Authority Action Figures, Conference Center Playset

4/18/2017

3 Comments

 
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By Cory Bickmore
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island — What better gift can you give a child than his or her very own Dallin H. Oaks?
So says global toy giant Hasbro, which has announced its line of General Authority action figures and matching Conference Center Playset with pop-off roof, available in stores and online in time for the approaching holiday season.
 
“Excited. That’s the only word that fits,” says Hasbro, Inc. CEO Brian Goldner. “Everyone has witnessed the growing need for action figures in the Church of LDS Saints market out West, as well as LDS Mormons throughout North America. Now is the time.”
 
Beginning August 1, customers can purchase four-inch tall action figures of President Thomas S. Monson, his two counselors, and the current Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. The Brethren are normally sold separately, but also may be purchased together as a First Presidency three-pack, and two Apostle six-packs.
 
Each prophet and apostle also comes with its own glossy color trading card. “You can memorize all their stats,” says Goldner. “Did you know M. Russell Ballard married in 1951? That he spoke on the Old Ship Zion in October 2014? Now you do.”
 
He adds that this is only the beginning. “We’re rolling out dead prophets, too. Gordon B. Hinckley, David O. McKay—we have them all. We offer every General Relief Society president back to Emma Smith, as well as classic apostle lineups from the past four decades. In fact, good luck on buying Neal A. Maxwell. His online pre-orders have already sold out.”
 
Hasbro also invites kids and adults alike to relive the latest General Conference with the new Conference Center Playset. They can seat President Monson and the gang on the stand below exquisite plastic organ pipes, raise and lower the famous walnut wood pulpit, and even give talks through a microphone plugged in back. One playset button triggers quotes by modern prophets, while another plays snippets from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
 
The toy company plans on offering additional LDS leadership toys well into the future. Apostle plush toys will arrive in stores next year, and designs have begun on a Classic Tabernacle Playset with its own pop-off roof, accurate down to the iconic pioneer hall’s pesky view-obscuring pillars.
 
“We were also really hoping to sell specialty prophet cars like the Batmobile until we found out LDS leaders drive regular cars,” says Goldner.
 
“We’ll do those golf carts they ride under Temple Square instead.”

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3 Comments
Frederick Jarvis
5/17/2017 04:13:42 pm



At first ai thought this was a joke. But hey, that's pretty awesome.

Great idea.

Reply
LDS Inkslinger link
5/17/2017 04:14:43 pm

Hello Brother Jarvis,

I hate to break it to you, but you've been funned. The article is a fictional satirical article I wrote for laughs. Would be cool though, yes?

Reply
Mandi
5/17/2017 04:15:52 pm

Love it! Sooo funny!

Reply



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